Sometimes things just appear to be a lot less complicated and lot less problematic than they really are. To others things might seem smooth and placid, or even fortunate, when in fact waters of frustration and despair swirl beneath. What I find remarkable about this is that despite the fact that we all realise that most of the time our lives, so logically the lives of those around us, appear more glossy on the surface than the real chaos that often lies beneath would reveal, we continue to put forth a more positive reporting that is often grossly incongruent with our reality. Whether it's by replying with an insincere fine to the how-do-you-do? Or with a blog, like mine, that seems always to showcase a seamless existence. Or the perpetually clever or "amazing" Facebook posts. And then there's the family Christmas card photos, everyone perfectly coifed.
In thinking on this topic recently I've often thought of closing up shop on the blog, because I don't think it necessarily reflects me or my family on the whole. It's rather the highlights of our corner of the world. As with the photos I post, I weed out those that are out of focus, badly exposed or just plain less attractive, so are the posts on my blog. Like life, there are easily a hundred bad shots on the cutting room floor for each good shot posted on the blog.
I don't know if it's habit, human nature or some sort of coping mechanism to effectually distort our realities for the benefit of others. And I suppose there are some good reasons for it. It would be a bummer if we were all walking around sporting the downtrodden, dark circles look. Sometimes things are too personal to air out to the masses. And likewise this kind of sharing can be painful, putting a finer point on hard things you'd like to forget. And sometimes we're trying to put forth a positive projection of ourselves, not for others, but for ourselves.
So here's my attempt to add a little tarnished ying to the often perceived polished yang. I'm not going to itemise my troubles here, but suffice it to say we have a great many out of focus and unattractive shots pilling up on the cutting room floor. Life is rough. But I am trying, albeit feebly, to stay positive. I'm especially proud of Dallin for his persistence and positive push forward amidst such opposition. He is such a great kid. And he's 11!
Here are some highlights from our celebrations of Dallin's 11th birthday . . .
The birthday boy enjoying his birthday outing to Six Flags
Sledding down the manmade snow hill at Six Flags
Go carts, Dallin has mad driving skillz!
A birthday hug
Monday, December 20, 2010
(2+3) x (2+1) - (8/2)
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9 comments:
Shannon. I hope all is well.
I just wanted to say that I hope you won't discontinue your blog.
I do think you have been amazingly blessed in your life. Your family's travels alone are enough to do me in.
However, I would never believe your life is perfect (we all have our own struggles and harships) and by choosing not to post the hard times on your blog, you aren't putting forth a "perfect" family image, but yes, a happy one.
There is nothing wrong with that.
Your children will be able to look on this blog as the best of the best. They will have plenty of their own personal reminders of the other stuff, so I don't think it matters if you document that here.
Your photography is amazing and I for one really find inspiration in what you post. So again, I hope you will continue.
And I hope that you find peace and answers to the things that you are dealing with. You are in my prayers. We are looking forward to seeing you soon.
xo
Well said. I hope you don't stop blogging, your photography is just stunning, and I really do think you have a "realness" to your blog, even amidst all those perfect pictures. That being said, sometimes we just need a break from some of our obligations, for me life is like that, everything comes and goes in waves. I always try and remember that during the tough times. I find myself saying "this too, shall pass" quite frequently. :)
SO glad to hear the tarnished ying too Shannon!! That's what makes the polished yang so much more enjoyable when you get to experience it, right??? ;) We can't wait to see you guys!!!
I have thought on this very subject a lot lately. I delete hundreds of pictures to find the best 3. I generally write about the good and skim the bad. But, I think that it's okay.
I am trying not to make excuses and explain away my cluttered house when people come to visit. And I'm trying to answer honestly when asked how I'm feeling. The positives on the blog are a good reminder of the good in a sea of difficulty.
Good luck!
Other commenters have reflected my thoughts well. I think that's one thing people have come to expect from the blogosphere: that people blog about the highlights because that's what we most want to record and remember, and that it doesn't tell the WHOLE story of life, but that's okay. I love your blog--yes, your travel photos and stories, but also the details on your kids, your activities, your ups and downs. Blog when you feel like it, and don't when you don't, but know that whenever you feel like it, there will be people out here in blogland who feel like reading. :) Hope this is a great Christmas for you all!
Great insight. Dilemmas I've pondered as well.In some ways our online friendships are bit of a pseudo-reality. After all, no one can stop by unexpectedly and see someone at their worst on a blog. So in a way, maybe it's harder to make, and keep deep, real connections. On the other hand, it's not really the forum for pouring out one's soul. So perhaps, a blog is a best a scrapbook. Food for thought.
I struggle with my blog sometimes for the same reason. I make a concerted effort to write with realism and try to capture some of the mess along with the "best of the best" stuff, but even then it doesn't capture the reality of our lives.
Even when I try to write about the "real" things (like how difficult it was to have Dave undergo surgery to donate a kidney) the blog version ends up somewhat sanitized. And not everything I'm struggling with can be shared on a blog... suffice it to say that we all have our struggles and none of us has the perfect family, despite our efforts to the contrary.
I still love reading your blog. (How do you manage to travel so much??) :) We have some other struggles right now that don't show up on my blog, so I can sympathize with the feelings you expressed. Hopefully we can both hang in there, one day at a time. And I hope you can feel love and friendship from afar, even off in Oregon. :)
I like what you said and you put it so eloquently, it reflects a lot of my thoughts, but on the flip side, I LOVE catching up with your blog when I can and adore your photography, I appreciate the beauty and artistry of your photos the rest of us cannot achieve !! and everyone appreciates a beautiful image.
In terms of content, ultimately there is no harm in accentuating the positive and sometimes it can even be helpful, to writer and reader. But blogs are still personal accounts and you need to feel comfortable about how and what you write. The ability to reach true authenticity maybe an elusive one within this medium and maybe that's ok.
In terms of what's going on for you, I'm sorry there are struggles right now, but hang in there my lovely friend, it will get better you know. xxxxxxx
I know exactly how you feel, and your photography is Amazing! And that's coming from a somewhat of a photography snob. Don't stop the blog, maybe just put in a bad picture every once and a while to keep it real, hahaha!
Our memories are much like our photo albums, we only remember the good times.
It's like my mission, I know I had horrible, hard, miserable days, but I only really remember the good times and wonderful people that I miss. But if I do remember those bad days I can laugh about them now, because it's past.
Just remember your not alone in your struggles, and reading your comment reminds me that I'm not alone in mine.
So thanks!
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